Before we moved out of a house and sold everything we lived on a great street just outside of Nashville called Village Way.. We got to know several neighbors and there were so many great families on the street it really did make it hard to leave. There was one house just down the street and inside that little 2 story house was the story of an amazing women. Her and her husband have 2 beautiful children, and they found out there was another on the way. She was in her early 30's and the future looked promising. 2 weeks before her due date the baby was stillborn, delivered on her 7th wedding anniversary. Less than one month after this heart wrenching blow, she was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer, on her 33rd birthday.
I did some asking around and was able to find out she had a blog. I got to know her story, her family, and her, from the safety of behind a computer screen. There were so many times while walking by, I wanted to just knock on the door and introduce myself, just to meet this wonderful women. I wanted our kids to play with hers, Colby and Peyton knew what it felt like to have a parent fighting cancer. So many times I wanted to go over and bring them food, toys, or just to ask if they needed anything but,,, I never did. I followed her story, read her blog and was astounded by the strength of this women and her faith. But I never knocked on that door, I never had the courage.. We got busy moving out of the house, onto our boat and then like a whirlwind we were in Florida. Several times I thought of her, but seemed to distance myself and quit checking her blog.
Looking back there was sort of a survivors guilt. Here I was moving on a boat and moving to the Florida Keys to live a dream, and here she was fighting to just see another day with her kids. I had my bout with cancer and she made it seem painfully real again. I don't really know why I quit reading her blog and following her story, maybe it was because I knew how it was going to end. Last night while laying in bed I thought of her and her family, so finally I sent a message to one of our old neighbors, hoping to hear good news. The message came when I got home this afternoon, she died.
If only she knew how much she touched me, how many times she inspired me with her courage. If only I would have knocked on that door and been able to meet her in person. This women was a total stranger to me, yet through her story and her writing I felt a connection, a connection through the one thing we shared, cancer.
Why one person lives and another dies I will never know. I do know there is a family learning to live again and there are 2 children without a mother. She had an unwavering faith until the end, she believed whatever happened was meant to be. Even in death she continues to touch the lives of others through the foundation setup in her name. I am ashamed I never took the time to get to know her, and I am saddened at my loss by not following her until the end.
Tonight I sit here with a heavy heart and a renewed desire to "savor the day". You see, she often talked of savoring the day and it was also the title of her website savoringtheday.com. Once again I am inspired and want to make sure others know about Sara Walker. I also want someone out there to knock on that door, make the phone call, introduce yourself. Don't walk by like I did, it was truly my loss. I am sorry Sara, I am sorry I never had the courage to meet you, but so very thankful I got to know your story.
"And I want you to see what I see.
I want you to LIVE, and live ABUNDANTLY.
I want us to learn together to SAVOR every extraordinary moment, but spare you the pain it took for me to learn this lesson."
Sara Walker
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